Tuesday, July 31, 2007

It's Been Awhile

I haven't felt much like writing lately. I've had a lot to say, believe me. I always have something to say. Something will happen in the course of the day that makes me annoyed , batshit happy and I want to write about it. There's just one problem: my sister found my blog.

Let me start of by saying that I love my sister. We get along just fine despite our many differences. That said, I have kept this blog from my family since I started it. My family, as a group, is a trainwreck on the Crazyville Express Line. I have used this forum to sort out my feelings about various family members, particularly my mother. The people who read my blog (I think I am down to about 7 readers now) are my friends. Most I knew before I had this blog; a couple I have gotten to know because of my writing. None of them were my family. I liked it that way. I felt free to express myself. Now that I have been outed by my sister, I can't help but think that I am going to be tempted to edit everything I want to say--even if it is something trivial. As a result, I have things that I want to say, but I haven't written them down.

When she told me she found my blog, I told her that while I chose to put it on the internet for others to see, my name was not on it and I expect her to not share this blog with any member of the family. She has agreed to not say anything. I do feel bad that I was initially angry with her for finding my blog. She wasn't actually looking for it--I accidently put the web address on something that she saw.

I know that I ultimately shouldn't care. I write the truth and most of what I have written about my mother I have said to her face. But I know it would be more upsetting to her to see it in print.


Heather K said...

Sounds awkward. That's actually the reason I haven't made the leap from protected xanga blog w/ a dozen readers to a blogger one. Hope you can find a middle ground.

Dutch said...

I'm sorry this happened to you. It is one of my own biggest fears.

Kim said...

My family has known about my blog, almost since I started it. Every day there are things I would like to write about but know I never will, unless I have another blog that is entirely anonymous. Not sure I have the energy for that, but it would probably be cheaper and easier than therapy.

L. said...

I feel your pain.

My brother found mine. That was one reason for my long hiatus earlier this year, when I thought of shutting it down entirely.

Mrs Big Dubya said...

Somehow my comment got lost, oh well -- if it pops up twice, oops

That's a bummer.... even though you are writing the truth about how you are feeling, there is something very liberating about being anonymous.

Sorry that freedom got stolen from you, even if it did happen innocently.

M&Co. said...

I'm sorry that happened.

Blog privacy is an interesting thing to me. I don't really tell anyone about my blog but I don't hide it. I don't want to censor myself because someone I know is reading it. I did tell someone once, "If you decide to read it, do not be offended by anything I say and don't get your feelings hurt if I call you a pinhead."

M&Co. at MyOwnCircleofConfusion

Kara said...

My sister knows about mine and says, ever so kindly "I don't like blogs" and yet she has one. She gives me a headache.