Monday, October 29, 2007

Some Truly Shit-Tastic Parenting Happened Today

Back in the 90’s, my friend Becky thought that the lyrics, “Don’t call me daughter” from Pearl Jam's "Daughter" was really, “Don’t Call Me Doggie.” A few years later, my friend Katy was surprised to find out that the classic Who song, “ New Orleans ” was really, “Who Are You?” My husband finds both stories to be HILARIOUS and tells them whenever an appropriate event calls for them.

This morning, while yelling at the girls for the umpteenth time to cool their jets so I could concentrate on driving them safely to school, I was somewhat aware of the cool song playing on “Kids Stuff” on Sirius. It seemed vaguely familiar with a rapid techno-beat. What a nice change from the usual Dan Zanes and Laurie Berkner that are the mainstays of the channel. While I continued to yell at the children, I was struck by the interesting lyrics, “smash my picture, smash my picture.” Once I was done yelling, I faced forward and rocked my head to the beat of “Smash My Picture.” It was probably the extended dance version because it seemed to go on forever.

It wasn’t until I heard Ella really getting into it by singing, “Smash my Bitcha, smash my Bitcha, that my stomach lurched. I remembered that on Saturday night, I was driving home from suburban Philadelphia and asked Herr to change “Kid Stuff” to anything that would keep me awake for the hour drive home. He had put it on “90’s Alt.”

I am not sure what was more sad: the fact that my four year old daughter was singing, “Smack My Bitch Up,” by Prodigy at 6:30 in the morning, or the fact that I had FORGOTTEN the song ever existed.

19 comments:

MetroDad said...

Bwahahaha! Love that. "Smack My Bitch Up" is one of my favorite treadmill songs on the ipod.

In other malapropism news, I have a friend who is still convinced that there's no such thing as cufflinks. No, if you ask him, they're "cufflings."

Sigh....

Arwen said...

Noodle used to sing along with the Pixies 'This monkey's gone to heaven' but she would sing 'this money's gone to hemming.' I am not sure what a hemming is but at least I know where all my money goes now.

merseydotes said...

Ah, the Kidstuff. My husband and I are convinced that the computer is programmed to play Laurie Berkner-Dan Zanes-Laurie Berkner-Wiggles-Something Else and repeat that loop endlessly.

Lumpyheadsmom said...

I want a video. Please please please.

The June Cleaver Diaries said...

"And to the Republic, Four witch's stands, one nation..."

It all started for me in kindergarten, my friend.

Anonymous said...

Ok I know I am not up on the kiddo stations...do not have any to speak of, but did you know there is a company that rewrites adult songs with kiddo friendly lyrics. The things you learn on morning radio. The problem is most children already know the "good" version. One song they used as an example was Maroon 5's new song where they omitted the word "F***" and replaced it with a word of a child friendly nature. The people on the radio were having a lot of fun with this. How do you really replace the word "F***"?

Lori

The June Cleaver Diaries said...

And then there was this gem from Mariah Carey, circa 1991:

"Treated me kindly, so all alone, suffered from Alien Nation..."

And I'm all, "Day-um! I hate that Alien Nation freakin' TV show, too!"

Katy

wordgirl said...

Glad you're back. Ya know, that old standard that says "little pitchers have big ears" is more than just a saying. Kids are tiny sponges. I forget stuff like that on a daily basis. You are not alone.

standingstill said...

Glad you're back. Love the story. Four year olds say bitch in such a cute way. Kinda like the first time you hear kids speaking french because you're in france. You're like, "Oh, a foreign language. How cute!"

Andie D. said...

Four year olds say "bitch" in such a cute way. True.

But when your five & 1/2 year old says it in class apropos of NOTHING? Yep. Parent teacher conference.

Trust me.

Velma said...

I've taken to negotiating lyrics with my daughter. Our latest compromise involves allowing her to listen to some Regina Spektor with me in the car, but changing lyrics to camoflauge the "bad" words.

For example, "... a little bag of cocaine, a little bag of cocaine..." becomes "... a little bag of sunshine, a little bag of sunshine...," plus I got to sneak in a useful discussion of "Why Drugs Are Bad."

Aimee Greeblemonkey said...

I came over from Grumppotumous, which I know I am completely spelling wrong but you get the idea, and just wanted to let you know that my son was in the office today and he was head banging along to some song on my iTunes until I realized that every other word started with F.

It was awesome.

Aimee Greeblemonkey said...

Oh, and P.S. we have a rule: no kids music in the car. It's a good rule.

red pen mama said...

I have read this post four times, and it still makes me laugh.

First of all, wanted to let you know that I responded to one of your comments at my blog.

Second, I tagged you for a meme. So if you're up for it, check it out.

thinking of you fondly,
rpm

Susan said...

Prodigy for your progeny - what could be more perfect. At least it wasn't the Prodigy video. Was it?

I'm waiting to hear that my daughter's been dropping the f-bomb in pig latin at her preschool.

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