I Could Swear They Were JUST Here

I have always had very ordinary, average features. This isn't a complaint, merely a statement. I have always been lucky to have a nose that wasn't too large, not too many freckles, and pretty good teeth that didn't need braces. One feature that I always felt was somewhat lacking were my eyelashes. I do not have the long, luxurious lashes that my daughters have. I have always had stumpy lashes. However, it wasn't a big deal when I was younger. As long as I had Maybelline Great Lash and some eyeliner, I was good to go.

One of the privileges of working from home for the past two years has been that I didn't have to look "corporate" to walk the 27 steps to my office. While I did force myself to at least get dressed (showering was sometimes iffy), I never combed my hair or wore makeup ( I am certain the neighbors at the bus stop wished that I would). As a matter of fact, most of my makeup got thrown away a few months ago because I knew it had expired. The only time I wear makeup is if I am going to one of my husband's work events or to play Bunco (aka Drunko) in my neighborhood.

Last Thursday, I got ready for Drunko. It has been way too hot to wear any real makeup, but my eyes look like the size of a mouse's if I don't put on some mascara. So, I whipped out my Great Lash and went to town. I noticed right away that my lashes weren't getting coated with any of the mascara. I checked the wand with my hand, but there was plenty of mascara on it. I turned on my bathroom light (I know, why on Earth would I turn on a light to apply makeup?!) and took a closer look.

My eyelashes are gone.

Seriously.

OK, maybe not ALL of them, but most of them on my lower eyelids. Upon closer inspection, my left upper eyelid is missing a significant chunk of them. I ran out of the bathroom and yelled to my husband to tell him that my eyelashes are gone. Like every other time I run out of the bathroom yelling, he looked at me blankly, shrugged, and told me he had no idea what I was talking about. As usual, he was no help.

I have since been trying to figure out what happened to my lashes. I have been doing research on Dr. Internet. It is so much more convenient than going to my babe of a dermatologist. When I go to Dr. Hottie with a problem, the looks of sympathy I get from her makes me insane because I know she has never had a bad hair, bad body day or bad face day in her life. And she never will. I can't decide if the cause is simply my age, or if it might be caused by my hypothyroidism. As a born redhead, I lose a lot of hair on my head. I am constantly shedding a lot, but I have never shed anywhere else. I recently had my blood tested for my hypothyroidism, and it came back normal, so my hunch is leaning more toward aging.

Damn you, old age.

I am so annoyed because I know this is going to somehow cost me a lot of money. I have spent close to $1000 lasering hair off of my body this year(keep that to yourself!). I had no idea that I should have been saving some of it to make myself some replacement eyelashes. Latisse isn't cheap and it is only FDA approved to work on UPPER eyelids, not the lower, so I don't know if it would ultimately help. I am also concerned about my eyes and/or eyelids possibly turning brown from using Latisse. And the way my husband rolls his eyes at the vanity drugs people take, I am sure he would be be irate if I started to use it. I am sure he would say something like, "You're only using it because Brook Shields does, blah blah blah." My husband does drug discovery, yet he's against my using them. Go figure.

In the meantime, I am trying to put heavy coats on the 12 eyelashes I do have and pray that no one notices. I'll let you know how that works out. If any of you have any experience with Latisse, do let me know. My lashes thank you.