Tuesday, June 05, 2007

It Came out of Nowhere

Ella was talking about her day at school yesterday. I'll be honest--she is quite verbose, so it can take quite awhile to get to the meat of her stories. I have been known to drift off into space for vast stretches of time until she pulls on my arm and tells me to pay attention. At any rate, she was babbling on about her day when she suddenly said, "And I fell on my tookas at school, but I'm OK."

"What did you just say?"

"I fell on my tookas, Mommy."

"Who taught you that word, Ella?"

"Miss Aimee at school."

And that is when I started to cry. You see, my dad used to say the word "tookas" instead of "butt" when I was a kid. While I was mortified to hear him say it in front of my friends, I would give anything to hear him say it now. I can't believe a silly word reminded me of how much I have missed my dad since he died six years ago. He would have been thrilled to hear Ella say it.

God, I miss him.

7 comments:

kimmyk said...

Aww.
It is a cute word.

I thought for sure she was gonna cuss like a sailor.

Lumpyheadsmom said...

I don't think grief gets any easier with time, it just gets less often. That horrible, empty, rot-gut feeling is just as strong - even years later.

stefanierj said...

I honestly believe that one of the reasons I have a kid is because he does so many things that remind me of my parents--he always wants to take home leftovers from restaurants like my mom, or he furrows his brow like my dad. This way, when my parents are gone, I will still have part of them. I'm so glad Ella did that for you today.

And that she goes to a school where she learns "tookas." I don't think the Mormons even know what that means. :)

The June Cleaver Diaries said...

You should have called me! I'm sad for you today. I can't believe it's been six years...

Can you imagine what else he'd say if he were still here?

Andie D. said...

I can only imagine.

Your dad would've loved Ella. Both girls.

wordgirl said...

Funny how the smallest things bring forth the biggest memories. Despite the memories, I'm glad Ella was able to bring him back for that brief moment.

albamaria30 said...

Some people you just miss your whole life. My thoughts are with you, dear.

(and thanks for linking to Red Pen Mama!)

dpm