Wednesday, January 16, 2008

This Was Just What I Needed

I came home tonight after having dinner with one of our company's VPs and promptly ate two frozen waffles. Everyone ordered from the "small plates" part of the menu. NO ONE was going to be the one to order an actual dinner. Can you tell it was a dinner of only women? Normally when it is the five of us, we are not afraid to eat, but the VP had everyone on their best dietary behavior. As it was, I was the pig who actually had soup AND a salad, and nibbled on the appetizer (for the record, the food was REALLY good!)

The real bummer was that I have recently developed a sensitivity to alcohol. I can no longer drink wines and many beers without my face turning the crimson and splotchy. I thought I was safe with one of my all-time favorites, Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. I didn't even get to drink a third sip. The worst part of the evening occurred on the way out the door when I looked in my wallet and realized that I didn't have a dollar to give the coat check girl. My co-worker and I BOTH had to hit up my boss for a dollar. My co-worker and I tried to be subtle about it, but that didn't work out so well. Wait, no, the worst part of the evening was when I was in the car on the way to the restaurant and mistook my Tide To-Go Bleach pen for lip gloss.

I checked my emails and got the following photos and commentary from my friend Mark. I can't think of a better way to unwind than to make fun of others. Be sure to leave your votes for your favorite photos in my comments section. And if you actually KNOW any of these people, EVEN BETTER! ENJOY!

Actual Olan Mills photos Actual

Those glasses came free with a purchase of Brut cologne
.hose glasses came free with a purchase of Brut cologne.

Thoughtful glance. Mirthful glance. Two sides of a delightful coin.

Drake won Bitchin'est Senior Mullet by a landslide.

That dude wore a tie for nothing.

The Purvis family made several stops along theOregon Trailto document their six-month journey. This photo was taken just two weeks before the dysentery took Momma to Jesus.

I wanted a shot like this for my wedding. The Mrs. said no.

It's called a leisure suit, ladies and germs, and if you didn't have one in the early 70s, you were a big fat loser.

Once they had two or three, how did they ever find enough time alone to make more?

No Comment

Olan Mills backdrop #4: Bucolic Meadow with Split Rail Fence. Is that an animal carcass behind her?

Oh, this is super. What better way to capture the charm and innocence of a child than to plunk him down amid the coarse trappings of a life lived in pursuit of wealth -- oversized bills, an adding machine and the Wall Street Journal -- and make him sit inside a briefcase? (They probably just fold up the little demon right in there to carry him home.) The finishing touch is the globe, which completes the portrait of the young Antichrist in Chess King vest and Red Goose loafers, plotting his takeover of the world (insert maniacal laugh). That is, as soon as someone changes his poopy diaper.

Bobbi isn't the first waitress to fall for her manager, but she and Dale both got fired from Shoney's.

Rejected Toby Keith album cover.

Just a typical afternoon down on the plantation. In a business suit.

Dawn and her recently exhumed sister, Gorgotha, pose with Scraps.

This photo isn't discolored. The 70
' s really were that Orange.

And don't miss the First Presbyterian Players as they perform "Godspell" next Wednesday night in the Fellowship Hall. Childcare will be provided. Please bring a covered dish.

Olan Mills Backdrop #11: The Library, one of their most popular themes, as seen in this photo of the young Unabomber and his wife.

The Library might be more believable if the shelves weren't sloping downhill

Olan Mills is all about versatility. The simple addition of a column turns this generic plantation into Tara,where, apparently, someone opened a Hair Cuttery.

Patrick broke ranks and chose drag over the bow tie

You'd think Pearle Vision would throw in another two pairs for free.

Grapefruit smuggling isn't a crime, but posing it in profile should be.

Kenneth and his prom date

I got a 20 that says he drives a Camaro.

Hiroshima , 1945. The last known photo of Kelli and Senor Loco.

e this was Dad's idea.

Someone spent money on this.

It's so cute when couples have matching hairdos

WTF ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Nothing says 1973 quite like denim and helmet hair

I'd hide my face, too, little girl

B-52's, the early years.

She's looking for the speaker that's piping in "Muskrat Love" so she can blast it with her laser eyes.


Anonymous said...

I was not able to view any of the pictures. I sure Jeff has this thing locked up??? Anyway its the sulfates in the beer and wine. I remember at the liquor company when we had Friday tastings poor Betty would about die because she was allergic to the sulfates.


Andie D. said...

I can't see them either! I want to see the pictures!!!!