Linus

Last Monday, I told Corey that we needed to put Linus to sleep. He was suffering so much. Initially, Corey thought we should take him to the vet for a visit just one more time to see what he thought. I told him that while we could certainly put Linus on a pain management program, it wouldn't change the fact that he had no control over his back legs, he was afraid to walk, and was falling all over the place when he did his business.

I put off calling the vet clinic all morning because I was afraid I would start sobbing and I was in the middle of working. Eventually, I called the vet clinic that afternoon and told them that it was time to put Linus down. And then I started to sob on the phone. Fortunately, they know Linus well and love him, so they understand. Then again, it's their job to do so. Dr. Brad called me back later and we talked for awhile about Linus' rapid decline. He agreed that it was time.

We waited until Ella got on the bus on Thursday. We dawdled a little, because we didn't want to do it. Of course, I was crying. I so wish I was a cute cryer, but I am not. I am a red-faced, snot dripping down my nose kind of a cryer. I am not a wailer (thank God) but it ain't pretty. We finally got Linus into the back of the truck and drove to the clinic.

We stayed with him when he died. The shot the vet gives to knock them out takes a lot longer than the shot he is given later to stop his heartbeat. The whole process took about 15 minutes.

The girls took it hard, but I wasn't surprised. They have never had to deal with death. Corey and I told them that Linus died and went to doggie heaven. Fortunately, they didn't ask too many questions. I told them that Bosco needs all of our love now that Linus is gone. The both hugged and kissed Bosco all night long.

The next day, Genna and I came home from running errands. As we walked in the house, Genna said, "Mommy, the house is so empty without Liney. He's in Heaven, right? Doggie Heaven?" I assured her he was.

We had been very worried about Bosco prior to putting Linus to sleep. Bosco typically clung to Linus like a barnacle. As a matter of fact, Bosco never actually put his butt on the floor--he always sat or laid on Linus instead. The few times they have been apart, Bosco has been an absolute mess. The first two days, Bosco was pretty mellow, but he would howl like a hound whenever I got on the phone. It was so strange and random. Now, he has stopped howling and he has been really calm. REALLY CALM. People who know Bosco probably wouldn't believe that the words, "Bosco" and "really calm" would ever be in the same sentence.

I brought Linus' ashes home yesterday. It is so eerie and sad to be able to hold what was once a 65 lb, dog in the palm of one's hand. When I walked in the door with him, Bosco literally bounded off the couch and ran around the house like a complete crazy dog. I hadn't seen him do any bounding or running since Linus was around. He continued to run around the house, sniffing and looking.

He knew his brother was home.