About a year ago, I couldn't sleep during my daughters' nap time. I was tired of watching the Food Network and I had no friends to call and invite over as we had only lived in Ohio for a little over a month. I was so bored that I actually opened up the latest Parenting Magazine. I had been getting that magazine monthly since Baby Girl's birth, but I had never actually read one. And while I was getting pissed off that my Vanity Fair hadn't shown up in my mailbox yet, Parenting had found me right away.
I came upon an article about blogs. One that was mentioned was Corporate Mommy. In reading the article, I felt an instant connection with this stranger. She was a woman who was struggling with her work, raising a family, and trying to live a happy life. Sounded a lot like me, minus the working part. I closed the magazine and went to her site.
I read her site voraciously that night. And I read some comments. And I clicked on the commenter's sites and read their innermost thoughts. I was pretty hooked. I then clicked on a friend's website to see what performances she was working on in Pittsburgh. Erin had just lost her mom and I would click on her site, to sort of check up on her. It was there that I noticed that she also had a blog. After reading this particular post of Erin's, I thought I could perhaps start writing again. I always wanted to be a writer, but over the past few years I had gotten too involved in trying to be a career woman in a frustrating vocation. I guess I thought I had nothing worthwhile to say. The birth of my second daughter in February, our move to Cincinnati in April, and my new role as a SAHM (shudder) had really changed me. And so, I got a Blogger Account and started to write.
This blog has allowed me to do a couple of things. First off, it has been very therapeutic for me to be able to sort things out in my head through this site. There are many days where I feel that I am the absolute worst mother/wife/person/friend in the world. The writing really helps to temper those feelings. The comments from others (mostly strangers) have really helped me to see that I am not so different from anyone else. Secondly, I have been able to capture some of the funnier/not so funny moments of raising my girls. This is the closest thing to a scrapbook that my girls have right now, despite the fact that I spent $100 on scrapbook supplies at a Creative Memories party before I left New Jersey. At some point, I will print off the posts that pertain to them and put them in a book for them to read later.
While the writing has been great for me, I have really enjoyed reading about the daily lives of others. Again, it has been so reassuring to know that I am not the only person in the world who worries about parenting or losing my identity by not working outside of the home. I look forward to naptime everyday so that I can read some of my favorite sites. I have been made to feel better time and time again by Mary concerning all things parenting--she's a professional, so she should know! A few writers have really made me think long after I have read their posts, MIM, in particular. Some of the bloggers decide to take breaks for awhile. I still check up on them, in hopes that they will pick it up again--but I would understand if they didn't. I have come to really look forward to reading the latest escapades of some fantastic Daddy Bloggers. I appreciate reading about parenting from a male perspective, especially since Herr keeps his cards close to his chest. Cheeky's Hideway alone makes me almost makes me pee my pants because of his text links. You never know what you'll see, but they are always funny.
One of the toughest things about reading one's favorite blogs is that sometimes, really bad things happen to the people who write them. Some get a chance to start over after dealing with their personal tragedy. Others don't. And there's not a damn thing you can do about. Because you don't actually know them. Even though you sort of do. So you sit at your computer and cry. And pray that your spouse doesn't come in and think you need to be committed because you are crying over the life or death of a complete stranger.
In looking at some of my posts from the past twelve months, I've realized a few things. Number one, I really need to work on my writing skills. I expected that my skills would improve simply by blogging. Not so much. Also, I will probably no longer write under my pseudonym in the near future. I'm not sure why I bother since nine out of the ten readers I get on a daily basis already know who I am. The next year will most assuredly be full of changes, what with our impending move, my best friend moving to a foreign land, our new "fixer-upper" in Bethlehem, PA, and the probability of my returning to work outside of the home. Oh yeah, my 20 year high school reunion will be coming up next year. I am sure I will write about my race to get my ass into a size 4 again. Terrific.