Friday, October 21, 2005

Hot Stock Tip


Just thought I would share with all of you that you may want to invest in Kimberly-Clark stock if you aren't already. Oppenheimer, Prudential, Deutsche Securities and Bear Stearns have all downgraded it since August, but I have some insider information that could change everything.

Baby Girl informed me that she will NEVER poop on the potty. Ever. Never. No Way. Nu UH! Baby Girl wears size 4 clothing right now and is wearing size 6 diapers. They don't make diapers any larger and I just can't do pullups as I am annoyed by the Princesses and stuff on them.

That will leave me no choice but to purchase Depends. For the next 30 years. Even if she gets a job and starts buying them on her own, Kimberly Clark is going to achieve some huge profits for the next several decades.

Shhhh. Don't tell anyone I told you.

13 comments:

Susan said...

Every time I try to talk cheerfully to Charlie about how GREAT it would be if he would poop in the POTTY and not in his Madagascar underwear, he looks me in the face and says, 'I already pooped in the potty at Nana and Papa's house.'

Oh, sure. Once. In JULY.

What in the hell is wrong with these kids?

Susan said...

Okay, I'm back to tell you that C just had his SECOND poop accident of our day (it's not even 10:30!). This time he pooped ON HIS BED, on the WHITE Pottery Barn quilt.

Holy hell.

kimmyk said...

ah i dont miss these days...good luck ladies.

and susan, you made me laugh out loud with the white pottery barn quilt-i can't even imagine the horror. lol !

Susan said...

Oh, Kimmy, I'm glad SOMEONE is getting a laugh out of this.

And hey, I'm back AGAIN to say that we've had ONE MORE accident! No poop this time, just pee all over the floor. So it's 55 degrees here and the boy is wearing shorts because THAT IS ALL THAT'S CLEAN.

Are you enjoying my reports?

Jenette said...

Have mercy! I feel for y'all so much. I remember those days with Ethan, when he was accidenting it all over the place. Sigh. And Hausfrau, you can always get the good nights underwear--- they make them for bigger kids. Problem is, my child refuses to wear them at night because they don't have Buzz Lightyear on them, like the pull ups that leak halfway through the night have....

Gonna go buy my stock now! Teehee!

Candace said...

Y'all need to figure out what your kids' favorite thing is and then deny him or her the thing until he/she goes in the potty every day, poop and pee, for a week.

I'm so very mean.

MetroDad said...

I know I've said it before but...you fucking crack me up.

Misfit Hausfrau said...

Hey Misfit--I have already tried that based on your prior suggestion. She could care less. She is motivated by NOTHING! I wrapped up "poopie prizes" and put them in a bowl for her to choose. I bought the one thing she REALLY wanted (a Dora DVD). She didn't care.

Metrodad--You are too kind!

adria said...

Stock options in diaper companies should be in the paper work at the hospital when we give birth!
And yes, I truly dislike the princess only option for pull-ups. Why?? Where is the gender neutral pull-ups?

McSwain said...

Pullups SUCK!! It's not just the pictures. Have you ever tried getting a poopy pullup off of a child without getting crap over every inch of their legs? It ain't pretty.

Nothing But Bonfires said...

"Poopie Prizes" is the best thing I have heard all day.

Actually, it would kind of make a good band name, wouldn't it? "Live from Los Angeles, California.... it's The Poopie Prizes!"

I thought I had it bad with cat whizz, but I guess not.

Candace said...

No, this is the last resort thing.

Like taking away their sippy cups. Or their lovey.

Ok, no, not really THAT drastic. But our line in the sand moment came when Christopher would reliably use the potty at school but not at home. We figured out his very favorite thing was before-bedtime reading. We took it away; HUGE tantrums, many tears, but he used the potty the next day and never looked back.

Of course, I cried myself to sleep that night.

And he totally doesn't remember it now; I asked him.

Misfit Hausfrau said...

Hmmm, taking away the night time routine...she LIVES for it... We read her two books, then she "reads" them, then we each sing the chorus of "Tomorrow" seperately, and then we each sing the "Weenie Man" song seperately. It's a whole production...