Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Time Out for Busia

"Hi, Mom, Hausfrau here. I thought I would call to let you know what your charming graddaughter said to me today."

"Aw, shit. I can't even imagine."

"Yeah well, do you remember how she likes to say her prayers before she eats?"

"Yes, it's really cute."

"It sure is. Well, a couple of minutes after I made her lunch, she said to me, 'Dammit, we forgot to say prayers!!!'"

(Laughing) "Aw, Christ! You're kidding me?! God!"

"I wish I was. She also said "Dammit" after she dropped her bag of Pla-Dough today."

(Laughing)"Aw, Shit and be Damned! Honey, you guys need to really stop saying those words around her. She is so impressionable!"

"But MOM, she has been swearing like a sailor since we visited you."

"Well shit, Hausfrau, you visited me 3 weeks ago. There's no way she can remember those words from the visit!"

"MOM, we were there less than a week ago! The day after we visited you, she spent most of the day in time out because she wouldn't stop swearing! And it's not as though she just says the words. She actually knows how to use them in the correct context."

"God Dammit, Hausfrau, I am sorry. I guess I am just not used to little ones around. Why didn't you say something when you were?"

"I DID!" You kept ignoring me like you didn't hear me."

"Huh, I must not have heard you. Well, for what it's worth, I NEVER say the "F" word."

"Wanna bet?"

"Well, SHIT Hausfrau--when did I say that?"

"I believe you said, "That God-damned Baby Girl is so Fucking Cute, I can't stand it."

"Oh my God. I am sorry! Well, just tell her that Busia just isn't right in the head and that I am a little cukoo so I sometimes say bad words."

"No problem."


LoryKC said...

(Fast-forward to a year or two: It'll be Peaches who is so F-ing cute and Baby Girl will be running around yelling "OOooooo! I'm telling Mommy!!")
The fun goes on and on!

Ex-playgroup mommy said...

That was so funny! Thanks for visiting my blog!

Susan said...

Dammit that was so funny.

kimmyk said...


My mom is the same way EXCEPT she is always baiting my kids into cussing. Damn that woman!

Jenette said...

CRACKED ME UP! And I couldn't tell my three year old why mommy was laughing like an idiot! :) He thought I was crazy!

McSwain said...

LOL!!! My son picks up swearwords from his Grandmother, too. But the only one I can understand is "caca," 'cause they're all in Spanish. I recognize "chingada" too (fuck), but thank God I haven't heard that one yet.

Missy said...

Sounds like she is well into George Carlin's list of the 7 words you shouldn't say.

minimal_free_reign said...

My almost-five nephew puts his hand on his head in exasperation and says "god heaven," his interpretation of his mom's "god in heaven!" He also prefaces what he thinks will be disappointing news with "I'm sorry to say..." "I'm sorry to say, aunnie erwin, but I'm not wearing purple today." No cussing yet.

Misfit Hausfrau said...

Oh how I miss the days when she used to say "Oh my God sake," which was the combination of my mother's two other favorite phrases, "Oh my God" and "Oh for God's sake."

Mary P. said...

LOL.. Sh*t, that's so f*king hilarious! Oh, sorry...

Sounds like if she ever miraculously managed to get the cussing out of her speech, she'd have nothing left to say... Nice of her to give you permission to tell Baby Girl exactly what you wanted to say, though!

Chocolate makes it better said...

I got some great quotes about kids the other day...thought this one fits well.

"Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said."

The June Cleaver Diaries said...

You know Marge Simpson's sisters? I read this while imagining your mom with their voices.

Holy shit-- what the fuck am I still doing up at 3:30? The fucking alarm goes off in 3 hours. Dammit to hell.

The June Cleaver Diaries said...

Oooh. It's now 9 a.m. I'm soooo very tired. Shit.