"Hi, Mom, Hausfrau here. I thought I would call to let you know what your charming graddaughter said to me today."
"Aw, shit. I can't even imagine."
"Yeah well, do you remember how she likes to say her prayers before she eats?"
"Yes, it's really cute."
"It sure is. Well, a couple of minutes after I made her lunch, she said to me, 'Dammit, we forgot to say prayers!!!'"
(Laughing) "Aw, Christ! You're kidding me?! God!"
"I wish I was. She also said "Dammit" after she dropped her bag of Pla-Dough today."
(Laughing)"Aw, Shit and be Damned! Honey, you guys need to really stop saying those words around her. She is so impressionable!"
"But MOM, she has been swearing like a sailor since we visited you."
"Well shit, Hausfrau, you visited me 3 weeks ago. There's no way she can remember those words from the visit!"
"MOM, we were there less than a week ago! The day after we visited you, she spent most of the day in time out because she wouldn't stop swearing! And it's not as though she just says the words. She actually knows how to use them in the correct context."
"God Dammit, Hausfrau, I am sorry. I guess I am just not used to little ones around. Why didn't you say something when you were?"
"I DID!" You kept ignoring me like you didn't hear me."
"Huh, I must not have heard you. Well, for what it's worth, I NEVER say the "F" word."
"Wanna bet?"
"Well, SHIT Hausfrau--when did I say that?"
"I believe you said, "That God-damned Baby Girl is so Fucking Cute, I can't stand it."
"Oh my God. I am sorry! Well, just tell her that Busia just isn't right in the head and that I am a little cukoo so I sometimes say bad words."
"No problem."
11 comments:
LOL!
(Fast-forward to a year or two: It'll be Peaches who is so F-ing cute and Baby Girl will be running around yelling "OOooooo! I'm telling Mommy!!")
The fun goes on and on!
That was so funny! Thanks for visiting my blog!
Dammit that was so funny.
OMG! HILARIOUS!!!
My mom is the same way EXCEPT she is always baiting my kids into cussing. Damn that woman!
CRACKED ME UP! And I couldn't tell my three year old why mommy was laughing like an idiot! :) He thought I was crazy!
LOL!!! My son picks up swearwords from his Grandmother, too. But the only one I can understand is "caca," 'cause they're all in Spanish. I recognize "chingada" too (fuck), but thank God I haven't heard that one yet.
Sounds like she is well into George Carlin's list of the 7 words you shouldn't say.
Oh how I miss the days when she used to say "Oh my God sake," which was the combination of my mother's two other favorite phrases, "Oh my God" and "Oh for God's sake."
I got some great quotes about kids the other day...thought this one fits well.
"Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said."
You know Marge Simpson's sisters? I read this while imagining your mom with their voices.
Holy shit-- what the fuck am I still doing up at 3:30? The fucking alarm goes off in 3 hours. Dammit to hell.
Oooh. It's now 9 a.m. I'm soooo very tired. Shit.
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