Friday, January 13, 2006

Hausfrau's Slice of Hell

It has not been a great week at Hausfrau House. The first part of the week was spent trapped in a house because of crappy weather with two children who HATE ME. Yes, you read right. They hate me. I'm not quite sure what brought on the attitude from both of them at the same time, but it nearly killed me. Baby Girl was in the corner a record 11 times on Monday. Before Noon. Baby Girl became REALLY FAMILIAR with this sweet corner in the kitchen next to the cookbooks. While it's all well and good that she appears to be potty trained, I would rather clean her poopy diapers than to hear the shit that is currently coming out of her mouth. She is also being far too rough with Peaches. I understand that kids her age lack control, but jumping on Peaches when she is laying on her belly and acting like a human blanket just isn't right. Especially when she has gone to the corner twice before in the same morning for the same crime.
Peaches was just her usual moody self with a dash of all-out rage thrown in for good measure. I kept saying it was teething, but I knew I was kidding myself. She has been quite angry since Herr Hausfrau installed safety latches on all of the kitchen drawers over the weekend. This was something we never had to do with Baby Girl when she was a baby. When we told her not to touch something, she didn't. Peaches will look at us, cackle, and then do it again. And again. And again. Now that the latches are on, she will attempt to open it and proceed to go postal when she can't get it all the way open. But she keeps trying, as you can see. I guess we should be grateful that she's not a quitter. She has also decided that she would like to go back into the birth canal (I guess because it's warm in there and her feet are cold from constantly pulling off her socks.) As a result, she would scream any time I attempted to go into another room without first consulting her. She refused food by throwing it back at me, and screamed like a banshee during her morning naps. For more than an hour. By 9:00 AM on Tuesday morning, I was sobbing from the stress. I haven't cried from stress since Peaches was a really new baby. A few friends called that day, but I didn't want them to think I was an utter loser for suddenly losing all control of my kids, so I acted like all was well. When Herr Hausfrau came home that night I told him that I was leaving after dinner and didn't know if/when I would come back.

Turns out I was only gone an hour. There are no stand alone Starbucks in our area. They are all in Targets, Kroger, and Meijer. I'm sorry but I can't get all snuggly and comfy with a book and a Gingerbread Latte (crack in a cup) when I am sitting in a grocery store. My other choices were the coffee shop that is inside of the YMCA down the road (riiiight) and the coffee shop that closed at 8:00 PM and was filled with giggly high school girls who have NO IDEA what it means to really need caffeine and a quiet corner. I chose the latter. It was the quietest waking hour I have had all week. While I tend to not be very superstitious, I would like to believe that the full moon caused all of this nonsense and that things will be back to normal soon.


Candace said...

Urgh. So so so sorry!

We really should get together soon, you know.

Without the kids.

M&Co. said...

Aaaarrrggg. Maybe it's just the moons are in the right orbit. The BoyChild and GirlChild have been perfect angel children.

M&Co. said...

I just realized what I forgot to add was:

And we know THAT shit ain't right!

Andie D. said...

I've been there and it's rough when they are both acting up at the same time.

I completely know the feeling, and am glad that you were able to get out for at least an hour! By yourself!

I had a "hall pass" last week and was able to meet a friend for a drink (or three) for the first time since my baby was born.

I already need another. My 3 year old boy is playing the "I don't want to go to bed" game right now.

Mother father!

Jenette said...

I hear you! Hethan's new thing is, "You hurt my feelings," or "I don't like you right now." Yeah. It must be the moon. It must be the week of Friday the 13th. I don't care what it is, just make it done soon.

I drive to Meijer and sit in the parking lot and cry when it gets too stressful. Usually after bedtime, so hubby dearest doesn't have to deal with a snotty child.

mo-wo said...

Wow, impressive resolve mother woman! I say the family owes you a coffee card loaded up to infinity. It will all pay off when they are doctors or soap stars or some other successful future entities buying you a shiny new mercedes every year on your birthday.

Take care and thanks to the post. More discipline-food-for-thought to the jello-parent over here.

L. said...

The only problem with saying, "Things could NOT get any worse!" is that sometimes life proves you wrong. Hang in there -- it is statistically likely to get better. Winter has never lasted forever....yet.

kimmyk said...

Ohh I remember days like that!

Poor poor lil BABY girl standing in the corner...but her wings are quite beautiful !

i had to laugh at peaches because i went through this with my 2nd child. the fits of rage of not being able to take all the dish towels out of the drawer and tear out the pages of the cookbooks.

ahhhh the memories!

The June Cleaver Diaries said...

Jeez. What a loser. You couldn't handle that? Our 15 year friendship is ov--ah.

Whatever, sister--- I'm the one who took the Christmas tree away in a fit of rage.

Kristen said...

There was a full moon??!! THAT EXPLAINS A LOT. A WHOLE. FUCKING. LOT.

I agree that Peaches looks quite pitiful, but I know the hell you were in, too. AARRRGGGHHH!! I hate those weeks!

Alisyn said...

Three is hell - for us and for them.

But mostly for us.

I feel your pain, Hausfrau - I am going through the exact same thing! And having last summer's tiny, immobile infant now able to crawl over to the three year old for her daily (hourly) beating is just so sad.

Hang in - it's got to get better soon. Right?

Rita said...

Hope this week is much better.

I found that leaving one drawer available, full of easy things to take in and out (wood spoon, couple of plastic bowls, couple of dishrags) entertained my baby for countless hours.

Just an idea.

And man, are your baseboards and wood floor spotless. Wish mine were.

stefanierj said...

Poor thing. I remember not liking my little man much a month ago when he was 11 months (must be an almost-one thing?), but he's a bit more tolerable now. I hope it gets better. Soon you'll find you won the lottery for the 5-day preschool or something--karma adds up.

At least the freaking Steelers won this weekend.

Shrinking Violet said...

Always tell your friends when you feel like a loser. They will remind you that you are not. They will let you cry with snot coming out of your nose. Thank the Lord for Lattes. Take it easy and breath deep.

Susan said...

Sometimes it's eerie to me how much alike our children sound. That probably doesn't make you feel much better, does it?

But the wings! So cute!

Stefanie said...

This motherhood shit is hard. A lot harder than anyone warned us it would be. It takes all of our strength and then some more. Thank God for wine, clonopin on certain days and malls. I never liked malls until I had a baby and now even I enjoy the sights and sounds of a busy Banana Republic. If you lived in LA it would be even harder. Every baby activity costs approx. a million dollars. From Mommy and Me and Temple Beth Shadollars to My Gym or Creative Space or whatever they have cooked up to clean out your saving account to keep your baby busy for an hour. hang in there.

TB said...

Oh the poor butterfly in the corner. I'm sure she deserved it, but she looks so forlorn.

mama_tulip said...

I am quite convinced that our offspring get together after us parents have retired for the evening and conspire about how to make some days really brutal.

Hang in there. I hope it's better this week.

Mary P. said...

I love the wings. The little angel (or fairy or butterfly or whatever) in the corner for being a demon. Guess she switched allegiance for the day...

Full moon? It's as good as explanation as any, some days.

AdventureDad said...

Ohhh that sounds like a really rough time. I'm sure it's just some temporary thing. Although the little one loooks quite angry in the photo:-))