Friday, January 13, 2006
Hausfrau's Slice of Hell
It has not been a great week at Hausfrau House. The first part of the week was spent trapped in a house because of crappy weather with two children who HATE ME. Yes, you read right. They hate me. I'm not quite sure what brought on the attitude from both of them at the same time, but it nearly killed me. Baby Girl was in the corner a record 11 times on Monday. Before Noon. Baby Girl became REALLY FAMILIAR with this sweet corner in the kitchen next to the cookbooks. While it's all well and good that she appears to be potty trained, I would rather clean her poopy diapers than to hear the shit that is currently coming out of her mouth. She is also being far too rough with Peaches. I understand that kids her age lack control, but jumping on Peaches when she is laying on her belly and acting like a human blanket just isn't right. Especially when she has gone to the corner twice before in the same morning for the same crime.
Peaches was just her usual moody self with a dash of all-out rage thrown in for good measure. I kept saying it was teething, but I knew I was kidding myself. She has been quite angry since Herr Hausfrau installed safety latches on all of the kitchen drawers over the weekend. This was something we never had to do with Baby Girl when she was a baby. When we told her not to touch something, she didn't. Peaches will look at us, cackle, and then do it again. And again. And again. Now that the latches are on, she will attempt to open it and proceed to go postal when she can't get it all the way open. But she keeps trying, as you can see. I guess we should be grateful that she's not a quitter. She has also decided that she would like to go back into the birth canal (I guess because it's warm in there and her feet are cold from constantly pulling off her socks.) As a result, she would scream any time I attempted to go into another room without first consulting her. She refused food by throwing it back at me, and screamed like a banshee during her morning naps. For more than an hour. By 9:00 AM on Tuesday morning, I was sobbing from the stress. I haven't cried from stress since Peaches was a really new baby. A few friends called that day, but I didn't want them to think I was an utter loser for suddenly losing all control of my kids, so I acted like all was well. When Herr Hausfrau came home that night I told him that I was leaving after dinner and didn't know if/when I would come back.
Turns out I was only gone an hour. There are no stand alone Starbucks in our area. They are all in Targets, Kroger, and Meijer. I'm sorry but I can't get all snuggly and comfy with a book and a Gingerbread Latte (crack in a cup) when I am sitting in a grocery store. My other choices were the coffee shop that is inside of the YMCA down the road (riiiight) and the coffee shop that closed at 8:00 PM and was filled with giggly high school girls who have NO IDEA what it means to really need caffeine and a quiet corner. I chose the latter. It was the quietest waking hour I have had all week. While I tend to not be very superstitious, I would like to believe that the full moon caused all of this nonsense and that things will be back to normal soon.
Posted by Pinterest Failures at Friday, January 13, 2006