Hi. My Name is Misfit Hausfrau and I need your vote so that I can be crowned "World's Crappiest Mother 2005." I never dreamed that I could actually qualify for this esteemed award because I don't beat my kids, I feed them when they are hungry and I hug and kiss them a lot. After reading the rule book, however, I found out I qualified because I have no regard for my baby's hygiene. I realized that I haven't bathed Peaches since Wednesday. Of last week.
One could argue that I don't have much of a chance to win because I DO wipe her face, hands, feet and under her 12 chins after each and every meal. I also wipe her butt at least six times a day. However, she is starting to emit a not-so-fresh-baby smell. I guess you could say she has Baby Odor (BO). Her ears are also very yellow. Like corn. Maybe it is corn. No, no, I haven't fed her corn yet--whew!
One could also argue that her Baptism on Sunday counts as a bath. Not so. Father Jamie merely poured water on her forehead and nary a drop went elsewhere. Then he put this greasy holy oil on her forehaed, so that cancels it out.
What should put me over the top in the voting is that I am sitting here eating my "Light Ruffles" and blogging about it as opposed to getting off my ass and bathing her.
Vote early and often. I thank you for your support.