Recently, my husband and I had the following conversation over dinner:
"Blah blah blahblahblah, and then we blah blah blah. I coulda went there instead." said my husband.
"You mean 'could have gone...'" I said.
"Coulda WENT," he insisted with an evil smile.
"Why won't you say that phrase properly?" I ask.
Husband shrugged his shoulders.
"How do you expect to get promoted into middle management if you say that at work? Oh My GOD, you don't actually say that at work do you?"
Again, shoulders shrug.
"Do you hate me?" I ask, near tears.
"COULDA WENT" sends chills up my spine each and EVERY SINGLE time I hear my husband say it. I want to wash his mouth out with soap. The only other word that makes me react as violently is the "C" word. I have been hearing "Coulda went" at least twice a week for 14 years. I am sometimes unsure as to how much longer I can take this incredibly intelligent man butchering the English language with this simple phrase.
You see, I am not a very smart girl. My husband, on the other hand, is BRILLIANT. He has a PhD in Chemistry and he creates drugs for mankind. When he isn't trying to save the world one medication at a time, he dazzles people with all sorts of Simpson's trivia, drinks beer and can discuss a myriad of topics with just about anyone. Pretty much the only thing I have going for me is that I am a fairly articulate speaker (I can edit too, but who cares?!) OK, there was a period of time when I said "like" and "um" WAY TOO MUCH, but I worked through it.
I said nothing for the first ten or so years we were together. I didn't want to appear rude or be critical of the man I love. I also didn't want my husband to start bringing up my faults, bad habits and idiosyncrasies that number in the hundreds. But after listening to it all those years, this verbal faux pas and his seasonal sniffling (particularly when we are in a car together for long road trips) started sending me into hissy fits of biblical proportions.
Recently, I discovered this blog . After reading about this tortured woman's life I decided that I really don't have any problems with my husband and that I just need to shut the Hell up.