Monday, September 19, 2005

Monday Bitch and Moan

I need to spend a couple of minutes whining about how horrible potty training is. I read all the books and have read other people's blogs and have been so excited about the wonderful ideas presented. That is, until I have tried to incorporate them in my home.

After weeks of offering dolls, tatoos, stickers, candy, juice, a pony and a car I finally just shut off the television. I told my daughter that if she peed on the potty she would get 5 M&Ms and could watch some TV. The first few days SUUUUUUCKED, particularly in the mornings. Because she had no television to watch, she suddenly thought I would be her sole source of entertainment. Au Contraire, mon Frere! However, the lightbulb has popped on and she is all about peeing in order to suck down some M&Ms and watch her Noggin. She has also gotten quite sly. She will pee 3 drops and demand her M&Ms and then go back 4-5 more times in 10 minutes. I have now reduced her amount of M&Ms to 4 per pee which has made her quite annoyed, but still fairly compliant.

I am still offering her exciting prizes if she poops on the potty, but she will have none of it. She is also crapping in her panties and NOT TELLING ME. My favorite is when she flat out denies it. I thought I would be saving money on baby wipes while she potty trains, but I am using no less than 40 when she poops the panties. Ugggghhhhh. What is really hilarious is that my husband has no concept of what it is like to change poopy panties as opposed to a poopy diaper. He practically fainted yesterday when I asked him to rinse out a pair of poop-stained underwear and then throw it in a bleach bucket I have in the mud room. AND THERE WAS HARDLY ANYTHING ON THEM!! I had already done the gross part. Sheesh!

Other than that, there is nothing new to report. Sunday we went to Kings Island which is a huge amusement park here in Cincinnati. They had it open this weekend for the company my husband works for which was quite nice. It is truly amazing all the crap one packs just to go on a day trip for two little girls. The backpack had diapers, wipes, extra panties for Baby Girl(the whole potty training crap), extra clothes for Baby Girl (should she shit herself and all), raisins, formula, two bottles, water, crackers, something with peanut butter (in case Baby Girl experiences a protein crash), crayons and paper for the 20 minute drive, sunscreen, two hats, and M&Ms (in case Baby Girl pees on a public potty). I distinctly remember my mom bringing nothing but bologna sandwiches, apples and the back of her hand whenever we went anywhere. Oh how times have changed.

I'm done bitching now. Move along.


Susan said...

The back of her hand. That's funny.

I think Baby Girl and Charlie must be e-mailing in secret when we're not looking, because our potty training is going about as well. Charlie, however, will not only DENY that he has pooped, he will LOOK FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO BLAME IT ON. Including, once, on my husband. Who is fully potty trained.

And the pooped underwear? I throw it in the trash. Because I just cannot take the washing and bleaching and . . . wasteful, yes, but cheaper than the stay in the mental hospital that I am in for if I have to wash one more pair of poopy Spiderman undies.

The June Cleaver Diaries said...

Alex just flat out refuses. Period.

kimmyk said...

Ok let me remember for a minute.
I put my kids in underwear or nothing at all while at home. They wouldn't go potty on the floor if they were naked. They would all out push ya over to get to the bathroom. We didn't use those lil potty's ya sit beside the toilet or anything we got those ones ya clip onto the potty.
My daughter was about 2 or so and my son he was about the same actually.
My daughter she was trained then decided she wanted to go back to a "diapie" and so we did that and she decided on her own then to go back to pretty panties and that was it-she didnt do it again.

She'll get it....don't stress-that might be stressin her out too-you stressin I mean.

Mary P. said...

You are Way generous with those M&Ms. I only give out ONE for a pee, and TWO for a poop. All the smart ones figures out letting it go in teeny dribbles so as to mooch more candies. It's inevitable - but hey, they've obviously got control, right??

After a week or so of controlled pottying, with few-no accidents, I decrease the rewards. Only for poop, but not for pee, or only for every third potty trip, or some such system. Because otherwise, you'll be giving them till she's ten, you know it!

And DON'T WORRY: she'll be keeping those panties clean well before she hits kindergarten!! (And make sure your husband deals with one pair of poopy panties, from start to finish, before this is all over!)

Misfit Hausfrau said...

I agree, Mary. Frive M&Ms is beyond generous. I couldn't get her interested in 1-4 initially. I do now make her go back on the potty repeatedly to "earn" those M&Ms.

Baby Girl requested that she wear diapers today instead of panties. Not a good sign. I ignored her and put on panties.

Candace said...

I just beat Christopher until he used the potty.

Ok, I didn't, but I damn sure WANTED to. He was so difficult. The only thing that worked in the end was The Bribe...I think I detailed that to Susan?

But I still wouldn't have considered him "trained". He had (even recently) accidents forEVER.

She'll get it eventually. I promise you she won't go to Kindergarten wanting to wear diapers.

MIM said...

Oh boy. I'm getting ready to potty train Tod-lar, and I am NOT looking forward to it. I feel completely clueless. We're going to start at the end of October after we return from our camping trip. God help us.

Misfit Hausfrau said...

MIM- You have my deepest sympathies! I can't believe I worried about my daughter sleeping through the night, taking away the bottle, the binkie and daylight savings time. Those were NOTHING in comparison. I have a neighbor whose daughter just "decided" a couple of months ago that she didn't want to wear diapers anymore and she just pottytrained herself. She is 4 months younger than my daughter. It is so hard to not be bitter.

The June Cleaver Diaries said...

Every time I send Alex off to preschool, I pray that he doesn't do one of his famous atomic poops in his pull-up. We're talking wall to wall, no square inch of diaper spared. And it's always between 1:30 and 3:00. I don't pick him up from school until 2:15. He's had three days so far...

Christi said...

Ran into your blog--and I enyjoy your writing.....I have potty trained three...always think that I am either going to kill the child being trained, or myself before they learn! With my last one all it took was "Bad Mommy" night and I made Jambalaya and that ended to poo accidents entirely.

LoryKC said...

Good Luck---and you WILL get through this. (you won't believe me right now...)
C waited until four months until his 4th birthday. Well, I shouldn't say that like he decided then....I finally took the diapers and pull ups away and him in pants. Still took a day or two.

BOTH my kids still poop in pants. Luckily, with N (7!!) it's down to about once a week now. We've dealt with Encopresis with her quite a bit. C is fine, but sees her. They occaionally poop in their pants and blame it on EACH OTHER!

We're actually doing much better now all the way around but your comment about saving money on baby wipes caught my eye. I don't have a diaper in the house but I have more "baby wipes" and "disposable wipes" than ever before.

Metrodad said...

Ok...I'm still laughing my ass off at your "bribes." Five M&Ms and some TV? Hysterical!

Misfit Hausfrau said...

It's funny, until I offered up the TV as a reward, she wasn't interested in the M&Ms.

Rita said...

Thank God that Walmart has cheap underwear - I never rinsed out poopy pants.

Straight to the circular file.