Monday, November 21, 2005

I Have Misplaced My Pants

Here at Hausfrau Haus, preparations are being made for a most memorable Thanksgiving. As mentioned in a previous post, we are having our first Thanksgiving with family members other than ourselves. Make that "family member." Due to my brother-in-law's work schedule, he and his family will be unable to attend. This isn't stopping us from going ahead with the purchase of our 18 Lb. free range turkey that was massaged and pampered in his/her short life and fed a diet of four leaf clovers, sweet peas and marigolds from Trader Joe's. For three people. We will also be preparing vats of my famous Cornbread Stuffing with pecans, leeks and bacon. I made cornbread and froze it long before I knew we would only have 3 people. I am ready to make my pecan and white chocolate pies and pumpkin apple butter pies. I have my week scheduled down to the hour. The beer my husband brewed will be ready just in time. Each day I will be prepping or preparing an item for the feast. I have scheduled work outs for every morning this week (gym closed on Thursday) so that the odds of gaining a significant amount of weight are diminished.

I know. You must be thinking, "Wow, that Hausfrau's got it going on!" Normally, I would agree. But I am a little worried about the meal. More specifically, I am worried that I won't be able to enjoy my meal as much as I'd hoped. While I am sure everything will taste good, I just know that I will not be as comfortable as I would like. You see, I can't find my old maternity pants, and I had planned on wearing them to dinner.

You heard it here first: maternity pants ROCK at Thanksgiving dinner. I have worn preggo pants the past three Thanksgivings. I was pregnant for two of them, but I wore them for shits and giggles during one of the Thanksgivings when I wasn't pregnant. And it was FABULOUS! The elastic doesn't cut into the stomach and there is that wonderful soft panel of stretchie material that hugs you stomach just right, as if to say, "Go ahead, have some more mashed potatoes with gravy and corn--I've got your belly!" There is no need to unsnap ones pants and grunt and groan when one wears preggo pants! And sweat pants are just not the same. Not even close.

So do yourself a favor and head over to Target. I'll be over in the maternity aisle, trying on these.

10 comments:

wordgirl said...

Heavens to mergatroid, Hausfrau! Why didn't I think of that? Of course, this would necessitate a trip to Target since I burned all of my maternity clothes in a giant bonfire after the third (and last) one was born. Those were some sorry-looking clothes-- what with all the mileage I put on them. That and gaining enough weight to pass as a parade float in the Macy's parade.

You could definitely pull off that look. I may just rely on my painter's overalls from the Old Navy men's department. The paint marks from where I wipe my brushes look just like cranberry sauce and gravy!

Jenette said...

I'm not big enough to wear maternity pants yet, but I might just go dig some out, because I like that idea!!!

MetroDad said...

You are so funny. I have a pair of bright green medical scrubs that I stole from one of my doctor buddies 10 years ago. Comes with a drawstring and everything. I wear it every Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, they're starting to age a little. I might have to head over to Target and pick up some of these maternity pants that you speak so highly of. Thanks for the tip.

And if I don't "speak" to you, have a Happy Thanksgiving! All the best to you and your family.

The June Cleaver Diaries said...

I made Chris read this, since I had tears streaming down my face from laughing. "Has she no shame?!?!" he wanted to know. Of course, he was laughing, too. He just doesn't get it. If he only knew half the things we write about here....

Jill said...

I have always just worn my overalls and been able to unbutton those side buttons, but I'm so thinking the maternity thing is a GREAT idea!! Thanks for sharing Hausfrau!!

theyellowwallpaper said...

What an excellent idea Misfit Hausfrau. Well done!

Who knew that I'd have another use for my old preggo pants besides acting like a king size comforter?

Susan said...

That Liz Lange maternity wear is deceptive--it all LOOKS like normal clothing, unlike all MY maternity clothes which looked like, well, maternity clothes. Buy those pants--they're so cute!--and then TAKE PICTURES, please.

I'm hoping to be too drunk at Thanksgiving dinner to care if my pants are cutting off my circulation.

Happy turkey day!

LoryKC said...

LOL! Brilliant!!!

Suburban Turmoil said...

That's great! Me, I'll be wearing a mu mu. Or is it muu muu? If I can even find one. I guess it's too late to order off the back page of Parade Magazine.

Maybe I'll just wrap myself in a curtain.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

wordgirl said...

Happy Thanksgiving, Hausfrau!