Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Prisoner in My Home

I am a prisoner in my home on Mondays and Wednesdays. You see, I am afraid to leave my home with both kids in tow. I have come to realize that I truly suck as a parent. I have several girlfriends who do this very thing ALL THE TIME and I don't hear them complaining. Hell, my friend Jen has 5 kids and she actually travels with them. On airplanes. She even takes them on trips in her EuroVan and they all sit quietly and read books, etc.

The entire process of getting ready to go out with the girls is dizzying. Truly, the only place I have taken the girls together is Costco twice because they have humongous carts.

The main problem is that I can't manage our double strollers. I can't even lift them to put them in the car, much less open them. Unfortunately, my older daughter has run into the road and into a parking lot, so it's not as though I can trust her to obediently hold my hand at the mall and leisurely push Peaches in a 2 lb. umbrella stroller. I did purchase a harness (leash) that looks like a monkey backpack, but I am just not ready to deal with the disapproving glares we will surely receive when Baby Girl is wearing it.

The two times we have ventured out have started out like this:

As I pulled out of the driveway Baby Girl SCREAMED for "rinnis" (raisins) or a "mugga bar" (granola bar), despite the fact that she just ate a huge breakfast. Then, she wanted a crayon and paper to color. Telling her that I needed to drive the car to get to our destination was not a good enough reason for her, so more screaming ensued. Then we unfortunately drove past a "Donalds" (McDonald's), at which time Baby Girl was WEEPING because we wouldn't stop for french fries and chicken nuggets (it's 9 AM). One would think we eat their nightly based on the passionate pleas coming from the back seat (I blame Gramma and PBS for this--thank you very little). Just as Baby Girl started to simmer down, I heard from another nation. It seems that Baby Girl had just winged a book/toy/shoe at Peaches and she wanted to tell me all about it. Not to be outdone, Baby Girl then started competing with Peaches to see who could scream the loudest. I would imagine that Saddam Hussein would confess to all of his crimes if he would ride with us for the 20 minutes it takes to get to Costco.

Things then went from bad to worse when we got into Costco. The acoustics are FABULOUS. It was amazing how much louder the children screamed there than they did at home. By the end of both trips, I needed to lay in bed with cold compresses. When my husband came home on those two evenings he asked, "Honey, do you have a migraine?"

"No, we went to Costco."

At some point in time, I will be brave and venture out with the girls. Until then, I will stay in the confines of my home until Baby Girl is at school.


Candace said...

Oh, I remember those days. When my kids were little, we didn't really go anywhere, either. I was always so jealous of those parents who could, say, go to a restaurant WITH THEIR CHILDREN, or even to the post office.

Not me.

Things are MUCH better now. They're 8 and 5, and I'm not sure when things improved, but I'm thinking it was when The Boy started school.

The June Cleaver Diaries said...

I don't know which is worse:the screaming or my kid asking, "What's that? WHYYYYY?" constantly as we drive. He asks it about everything---phone polls, McDonald's, other cars...

The kid is 3. He KNOWS what these things are. He also knows I'm trying to either listen to the radio or avoid getting into an accident. I now just make up ridiculous answers to get a rise out of him. I feel like the dad from Calvin and Hobbes.

By the way---picture the grocery store, me, a twin in a Baby Bjorn, the other in the cart, and my 3 year old holding the side of the cart. AWWWWW yeah...

MetroDad said...

Despite having made fun of people before, I now see the wisdom in those child leashes. I swear that if I take my eyes off my daughter for one second, she'll crawl onto a highway. Not only maddening but stressful also. Anyway...my advice for you is to just stop delaying the inevitable and just do it. It's like root canal. You can put it off for awhile but eventually, you're going to have to go through with it.

Java Mom..... said...

Girl...been there and done that....I just refuse to stay in my house...I drag the kiddos everywhere....My youngest is now 5 and things got easier when she was about 4. One day it just happens and your able to go anywhere. Try kid friendly places and work up to the harder places.....if that all fails just bribe with candy to sit still in the cart!!! LOL